Urban Fathers' Liberation Front

Confused dads working out the city

Things that cause cancer

on November 13, 2014

It’s been one of those weeks where my Facebook news feed has been full of scare stories about stuff and cancer.  Sadly, very little is helpful or comforting, and most of it is telling me I’m going to die of it because of my pathetic Western life.  I find the irony of being told that wi-fi causes cancer via the beauty of the internet quite galling.

Having spent eight years watch a fit, lively, intelligent, non-smoking, vegetarian white women under 40 succumb to a brain tumour I get a bit cheesed off with being told what specific things to avoid in order to prevent me from getting cancer as well.  Me, I just want to make the most I can of life in the fragile, limited time we have and worry about death when it comes knocking (whilst trying to keep a sensible handle on my exercise, balanced diet and alcohol intake).

So, purely in the pursuit of a good laugh, I’ve managed to find a list of things that the Daily Mail has linked to cancer or the causes of cancer.  If this isn’t enough to make you think that a lot of what you read is fear-mongering bullshit, I don’t know what is.

AGE [www.facebook.com]
AIR POLLUTION [www.dailymail.co.uk]
AIR TRAVEL [www.dailymail.co.uk] and [www.dailymail.co.uk]
ALCOHOL [www.dailymail.co.uk] and [www.dailymail.co.uk]
ALLERGIES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
ARTIFICIAL FLAVOURS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
ARTIFICIAL LIGHT [www.dailymail.co.uk]
ASBESTOS (as if it wasn’t bad enough already) [www.dailymail.co.uk]
ASPIRIN [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BABIES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BABY BOTTLES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BABY FOOD [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BACON [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BARBEQUES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BEEF [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BEER [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BEING A BLACK PERSON [www.dailymail.co.uk] and [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BEING A WOMAN [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BEING A MAN [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BEING SOUTHERN [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BISCUITS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BLOWJOBS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BRAS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BREAD [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BREAST FEEDING [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BREAST IMPLANTS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BROKEN HEARTS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BUBBLE BATH [www.dailymail.co.uk]
BURGERS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CAFFEINE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CALCIUM [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CANDLE-LIT DINNERS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CANNED FOOD [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CARBOHYDRATES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CARS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CEREAL [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHEESE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHICKEN [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHILDLESSNESS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHILDREN [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHILDREN’S FOOD[www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHILLIS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHINESE MEDICINE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHIPS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHLORINE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CHOCOLATE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CITY LIVING [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CLIMATE CHANGE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
COCA COLA [www.dailymail.co.uk]
COD LIVER OIL [www.dailymail.co.uk]
COFFEE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CONSTAPATION [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
COOKING [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CORDLESS PHONES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CRAYONS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
CURRY [www.dailymail.co.uk]
DEODRANT [www.dailymail.co.uk]
DIETING [www.dailymail.co.uk]
DOGS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
EGGS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
ELECTRICITY [www.dailymail.co.uk]
ENGLISH BREAKFAST [www.dailymail.co.uk]
FACEBOOK [www.dailymail.co.uk]
FALSE NAILS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
FATHERHOOD [www.dailymail.co.uk]
FIBRE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
FISH [www.dailymail.co.uk]
FIZZY DRINKS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
FLIP FLOPS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
FLY SPRAY [www.dailymail.co.uk]
FRUIT [www.dailymail.co.uk]
GARDENS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
GRAPEFRUIT [www.dailymail.co.uk]
HAIR DYE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
HAM [www.dailymail.co.uk]
HEIGHT [www.dailymail.co.uk]
HONEY [www.dailymail.co.uk]
HOT DRINKS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
HRT [www.dailymail.co.uk]
INTERNET [www.dailymail.co.uk]
IVF [www.dailymail.co.uk]
KIDNEY TRANSPLATS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
LAMB [www.dailymail.co.uk]
LARGE HEADS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
LEFT-HANDEDNESS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
LIPSTICK [www.dailymail.co.uk]
LIVER TRANSPLANTS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
MENOPAUSE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
MENSTRUATION [www.dailymail.co.uk]
METAL [www.dailymail.co.uk]
MILK [www.dailymail.co.uk]
MOBILE PHONES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
MODERN LIVING [www.dailymail.co.uk]
MONEY [www.dailymail.co.uk]
MORPHINE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
MOUTHWASH [www.dailymail.co.uk]
NUCLEAR POWER (there is no hint of irony in this article) [www.dailymail.co.uk]
OBESITY [www.dailymail.co.uk]
OESTROGEN [www.dailymail.co.uk]
OLDER FATHERS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
PASTRY [www.dailymail.co.uk]
PEANUT BUTTER [www.dailymail.co.uk]
PERFUME [www.dailymail.co.uk]
PICKLES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
PIZZA [www.dailymail.co.uk]
PLASTIC BAGS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
PORK [www.dailymail.co.uk]
POTATOES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
POVERTY [www.dailymail.co.uk]
PREGNANCY [www.dailymail.co.uk]
RADIOACTIVITY (again, just no irony whatsoever) [www.dailymail.co.uk]
RICE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
SAUSAGES [www.dailymail.co.uk]
RETIREMENT [www.dailymail.co.uk]
SEX [www.dailymail.co.uk]
SHAVING [www.dailymail.co.uk]
SKIING [www.dailymail.co.uk]
SOUP [www.dailymail.co.uk]
SPACE TRAVEL [www.dailymail.co.uk]
SUN CREAM [www.dailymail.co.uk]
TALCUM POWDER [www.dailymail.co.uk]
TEA [www.dailymail.co.uk]
TEEN SEX [www.dailymail.co.uk]
THIRD HAND SMOKE (read article and you’ll understand) [www.dailymail.co.uk]
VITAMINS [www.dailymail.co.uk]
WATER [www.dailymail.co.uk]
WI-FI [www.dailymail.co.uk]
WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE [www.dailymail.co.uk]
WORKING [www.dailymail.co.uk]
X-RAYS [www.dailymail.co.uk]


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