Urban Fathers' Liberation Front

Confused dads working out the city

75 Terrible Songs (in no particular order)

on May 1, 2014

As promised, I’m following up my favourite songs list with a list of stinkers.  This has been more difficult for a couple of reasons.  First, you tend not to cherish these, rather you put them to the back of your mind.  A lot of them are one-hit wonders, so the artists don’t stick around, and a lot are recognised stinkers, so they don’t get played much. There might be some controversy: I’m no fan of Eric Clapton and I think ‘Wonderful Tonight’ is particularly risible.  John Lennon’s half-arsed ‘Imagine’ is in the same camp.  I’m no fan of Queen either and their regular appearance at wedding discos (not in person, obviously) is sure to get my hackles up.  There’s a lot of awful 90s techno in there, which should be banished to the musical dustbin promptly and I think the rest are acknowledged stinkers, insipid covers, patronising kids songs and sappy dross.

A couple of notes: some of the tracks often cited in lists like this – Las Ketchup, Macarena, Mambo No.5, anything by Steps – I actually quite like.  And this isn’t a ‘coming out’ post either.  Further, I’m not a fan of jazz or reggae as two of the more mainstream forms of music, but I can’t include tracks here because you actually have to know the songs to actively hate them.  See what you think.  75 covers to follow soon…

  1. 10cc – Dreadlock Holiday
  2. 2 Unlimited – No Limit
  3. Amy Grant – Baby, Baby
  4. Apache Indian – Boom Shak-a-lak
  5. Aswad – Don’t Turn Around
  6. Aztec Camera – Somewhere in the City
  7. Baha Men – Who Let the Dogs Out?
  8. Barry White – Show You Right
  9. Billy Ray Cyrus – Achy Breaky Heart
  10. Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry, Be Happy
  11. Bombalurina – Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
  12. Celine Dion – Think Twice
  13. Charles and Eddie – Would I lie to you?
  14. Chris de Burgh – Lady in Red
  15. Clive Dunn – Grandad
  16. Cranberries – Desperate Andy
  17. Crazy Frog – Axel F
  18. Demis Roussos – Forever and Ever
  19. Eiffel 65 – Blue
  20. Elton John – Nikita
  21. Eric Clapton – Wonderful Tonight
  22. Eric Clapton – Tears in Heaven
  23. Eva Cassidy – Songbird
  24. Extreme – More Than Words
  25. Fast Food Rockers – Fast Food Song
  26. Glenn Medeiros – Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You
  27. Ini Kamoze – Hot Stepper
  28. Jason Donovan – Sealed with a Kiss
  29. Jennifer Lopez – Jenny from the Block
  30. Jennifer Rush – The Power of Love
  31. John Lennon – Imagine
  32. John Paul Young – Love is in the Air
  33. Keith Harris and Orville – I Wish I Could Fly
  34. Kriss Kross – Jump
  35. MC Hammer – U Can’t Touch This
  36. Michael Jackson – Earth Song
  37. Middle of the Road – Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep
  38. Mousse T Vs Hot ‘n’ Juicy – Horny
  39. Mr Blobby – Blobby Song
  40. Nick Berry – Every Loser Wins
  41. Nizlopi – JCB Song
  42. OMC – How Bizarre
  43. Owen Paul – My Favourite Waste of Time
  44. Pat and Mick – Let’s All Chant
  45. Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack – Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You
  46. Psy – Gangham Style
  47. Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody
  48. Rednex – Cotton Eye Joe
  49. Reynolds Girls – I’d Rather Jack
  50. Robert Palmer – I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight
  51. S Club 7 – Reach
  52. Salt n Pepa – Push It
  53. Scorpions – Wind of Change
  54. S’Express – Theme from S’Express
  55. Shamen – Ebeneezer Goode
  56. Shanice – Loving You
  57. Smokie with Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown – Living Next Door to Alice
  58. Snap – The Power
  59. Snow – Informer
  60. Spin Doctors – Two Princes
  61. St Winifred’s Choir – There’s No-one Quite Like Grandma
  62. Stefan Dennis – Don’t it Make a You Feel Good
  63. Stevie Wonder – I Just Called to Say I Love You
  64. Sting – Russians
  65. Taja Sevelle – Love is Contagious
  66. Technotronic – Pump Up the Jam
  67. The Beatles – Long and Winding Road
  68. The Knack – My Sharona
  69. The Nolans – I’m in the Mood for Dancing
  70. THFC – Tottenham, Tottenham
  71. Toploader – Dancing in the Moonlight
  72. UB40 – Rat in Mi Kitchen
  73. Westlife – Mandy
  74. Will Smith – Boom Shake the Room
  75. Womack and Womack – Teardrops

2 responses to “75 Terrible Songs (in no particular order)

  1. Phil says:

    After reading to the half way point I was losing hope of finding something you’d included that I have fond memories of and could vehemently defend, but then was amazed, dumfounded and taken aback by numbers 54 and 75! Mark Moore’s finest moment and the genius that is Teardrops!

    They could be readily replaced by Stevie Wonders all time low (Though not Paul McCartneys) ‘Ebony and Ivory’ and Robbie Williams (I’m spoiled for choice here) ‘Candy’!

    • bethsaysboo says:

      Funny! ‘Teardrops’ I find head-crunchingly tedious. It just seems to go on forever in an endless monotone drone. Theme from S’Express was the first time I really heard that kind of music. I wasn’t sold. It is funny how many of these tracks got to number 1, or top 5. I was reminded today that’Mr Blobby’ was the first track to return to number 1 after dropping from it, since 1968…

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